Coming to Terms with FOMO

It's something we do every day. We wake up, and before even saying hello to our significant other, or petting our animal, or even taking a sip of water- we reach for our phone and check the notifications that we missed while we were sleeping. It's become customary to scroll through Snapchat stories and watch users post their blurry pictures and videos with their friends when in reality, it probably wasn't as fun as they made it seem. Then, you switch to Instagram. You click 'like' on every picture you see because you expect the same in return. But really, do you actually like the picture of someone from high school holding a dead fish? And then, on some days, you get FOMO from all of your friends having plans but you're too anxious to leave your house. 

I started a new job about a month ago now. My first 40-hour-a-week job, at a well-renowned hotel in Center City, Philadelphia. No one warned me that being up on your feet for eight hours a day while having to be nice and courteous to every single person you come in contact with would be as exhausting as it actually is. But, with exhaustion comes disassociation from the outside world. This I have learned is both good and bad. I keep up with the people I want to keep up with, but I barely check my social media as much as I used to. 

I, unfortunately, am a very insecure person (I'll be the first to admit it). I need validation that I'm doing the right thing at the right place at the right time, constantly. This little issue of mine is escalated 20x more when I see other people on social media starting a business at age 20, getting engaged to their high school sweetheart at 21, and having the financial stability to buy a house at age 22. I question why I don't feel the want or need to go out and drink every night when I'm only 22- this should be the time to be fun and reckless, right? I question why I don't have as many friends as the people I follow. Basically, social media makes me second guess my whole idea of self-worth. 

I had a long talk with my roommate today, and as I expressed my feelings of loneliness to her, I said, "You just have so many more friends than me," to which she responded, "No Alisa, I feel like you hang out with way more people than I do." That's kinda when it hit me. Everyone's lonely in one way or another. Social media makes people crave attention and admiration that "Instagram influencers" receive on the daily basis- whether it be through friendships, relationships, or Internet fame in general. 

I've come to the realization that I am certainly not the first, or the last, person to feel this odd sense of loneliness. Sure, I have my close friends and family that I will love until the day I die. I have connections with people that I wouldn't trade for the world. I have a good job in a good city. Comparing myself to other people on social media makes me forget that more often than not. Society in general makes people feel bad for wanting to be a home body!! I love staying at home and just hanging out with one or two close friends. I rarely go out, simply because I never feel like it. There's nothing wrong with that. But when I see people going out every single day on their Snapchat or Instagram stories, it makes me feel like I'm never doing enough. 

Taking time away from social media is good. Finding other hobbies and jobs to occupy your time is good. Cutting social media out completely is harder than it sounds, just because then you really don't know what's going on in the world. I tend to only go on social media three-four times a day for about five minutes, just because I feel like it works better for my mental health to not be constantly checking what everyone's up to. If you're someone who could go on it all day every day and not be affected, good for you!! I wish I had the capacity to not be sad about things I see on the Internet. But if you're like me and do get sad, take a break. You need it.

Love always,

A